New Heart

Seventy times seven
As I wandered away from the path of clarity and truth
His perfection is unyielding to my fears
His passion persistently chase after me
His mercy is at the corner of every turn
He will not relent
Leaping upon the mountain of hindrances
Skipping upon the hill of separation
I cannot hide
Ignoring the gentle whispers within
Yet the loudest calling of my name
A sound I’m not used to hearing
It’s not possible
So I doubt
I ignore the voice that is so inviting
Guilt and insecurity brings me lower than where I belong
I keep on running away to find comfort
To control the battle in my mind
Finally the shadow over me is gone
Though I feel lost in this world without it
I’m crossing….

I’m tossing and turning on my bed
The pain is enormous and the suffering is unbearable
I cannot see clearly through this fog that penetrated my room
How did it get here?
I want out but I feel stuck
The doors are shut
It was my strength that chose to take hold of it
It has now taken over me
I was holding fast, careful to keep it faithfully
I will not let go
I am not giving up
It has drained my ability to discern
I’m tossing and turning on my bed
I have no rest…

I heard my breath from underneath my nostrils
Yaah-wehh, and again… YAHWEH

In this little boat in the middle of the sea
I am aware of my loneliness
Hoping to catch the wind and be refreshed 
I heard the voice of the deep saying, “cast your net on the other side”
A sound, I AM familiar with
I let the anchor down in the water and threw the net out
As I look up I see GRACE walking toward me

PEACE BE STILL,
PEACE BE WITH YOU..

“Cast your burdens upon me and I will give you rest
Step out in the water and walk toward me
Beloved I forgive you, seventy times seven”
This cloak that had weighed me down lifted instantly
As years of pain and suffering has lost its grip on me
“It’s time to let the past go and find a companion in me
Reach your finger into my hands and put your hand into my side
Yes Beloved, I felt all the pain and suffering
I’m wounded as you were
I died not just for you, but as you
Forgive as I forgive you
I AM empowering you in who you are”

I burst into tears as the war for my heart became evident at that moment

Forgiveness is at the heart of faith
His grace is the new heart in me
Letting go of my life to find His
Losing control to find contentment in Him
Losing comfort to find the comforter
Getting off the fence of the defense
Not easily offended for offense is inevitable
One thing is needed, abiding in Him
Who is forgiveness and faith
A narrow path, but the good part
Which will not be taken away from them that choose wisely

Back on the road of uprightness 
I am aware of the familiar shadow over my every steps
I looked up and suddenly my eyes were opened
It was His wings of protection 
He never left me nor forsaken me
He was with me all along
For The Fathers love says, “I love you for all of you!”

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