Counting The Cost

Where and how shall I begin other than beholding you, gazing upon your beauty, and delighting in your perfection. In this moment of solitude, stillness, and silence is this perfect man, the embrace of His presence, and the sweetness of His whispers is engulfing my spirit, soul, and body.

I am surrounded by your love. Your peace guards the fullness of my entire being and your enjoyment of me strengthens my heart. 

Your perfect love has casted out any influence of fear of the unknown. Instead the mystery of what’s to come keeps the exuberant and the excitement of resting and abiding in you. Sky is not the limit nor the heavens, but Eternity. 

I have not arrived, far from knowing it all nor do I have full knowledge of every detail of today. Yesterday is past and tomorrow is not promised, but in this present moment I know full well that perfection has arrived in my heart. 

You are perfect and you are love! 

The one that holds the universe in His hand holds me together with His breath. You call yourself the Beginning and the End. You have authored the fullness of my life, every single day of it has been recorded in your book, and every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

What more can I ask for in this life of vapor? 

Can the riches and treasures the life in this world possessed give me the deepest satisfaction of my heart and fulfill the longing of my weeping soul? Could giving you what’s left of it be a costly perfume that is wasted? 

Or would I be remembered as one who passionately broke the alabaster jar of a costly perfume upon your feet? That I would spend a lifetime of smearing all over you my heart’s loyal devotion. And that my soul would dance to a melody of a life long extravagant affection. 

Am I building without counting the cost? Too naive to feast on the abundance of you and setting the affection of my heart on things above my understanding. Is it rightly to count the cost from the abstinence of what I could have, would have or should have otherwise? Is it not the true wisdom that is foolish to this world is to sell all that I have for the treasure my heart found and the riches my soul gained? 

Love is a choice! 

And for the joy that was set before you, there I AM and without hesitation you’ve chosen me. That you would endure suffering for Eternity of a life union with me. You gave up your highest place even for a moment knowing that in your uprising and ascension I too may return seated in the heavenly places with you, victorious above all things.

I know that you do not rush me, nor will you tell me what I am to do, but you continually pursue my heart, jealous for the full affection of my soul, inviting me to choose love. That I would recognize love, be drawn to love, run towards love, give myself to love, and surrender to your love. 

You have already made your choice to give me all of you. It is now left to me to receive in full acceptance and submission, without hesitation, nor fear of the unknown, but resting in the perfection of love.

I am counting the cost…

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